A Work in Progress

I keep sitting down at the computer to write an entry, but I come up blank and walk away.  I've been up to trying to enjoy life by saying, "Yes!" to experiences.  There are a lot of experiences I missed out on the past couple of years while going to school after work and getting my CPA.  I am working on creating memories that last instead of being my default introverted self.  All the busyness has taken a toll on me, and I'm tired.  I just don't recharge by being around others.  I recharge by spending time by myself, reflecting, reading, praying.  Sometimes I clean, sometimes I blog my thoughts.  Weekends are sacred when you spent all week at the office; but weekends are also time to spend with people you love; weekends are days spent thoroughly cleaning.

I am a work in progress and right now I'm learning how to love my enemies.  What does God say about it? What kinds of people fall into the "enemy" territory? How do I deal with difficult people? What do I do about annoyances? Why are some people so incomprehensible to me?  How do I have compassion? What do I ask? How do I pray? How do I receive from God instead of making it my own effort?  How do you reconcile with a supposed Christian if my attempts are met with verbal agreement yet complete inaction and follow through?  How do you show love, if someone avoids you even after confrontation?  How do you restore, if restoration is agreed to but you can sense it is so fake?  Do you go after trouble or do you wait for an opportunity to show grace, mercy, and love?  All these questions I hope to have answered through God...and until then I don't know what to write.  How come no one ever teaches us about this?  I've been in Sunday School all my life, Bible studies, small groups, but why does no one talk about the most difficult things?  The things you have to be so honest with yourself in order to correct?

There are times we can say we love our enemies- because we have none.  And then God puts someone in your life that makes your insides churn.  Wait until he puts one in your social life and one in your work life - double attack.  Wait until it's a struggle that takes years...and years...frustrations that repeat over and over...and never change.  Do you pray for the person to change? No, you pray for God to change you.  Change you to be content despite this person in your life; change you to feel compassion instead of annoyance or disgust.  The devil will tempt you...so much that you will be seeing that you are forgiving these people seventy times seven...and yet the same annoyances keep repeating.  Sometimes I have cried out to God, "Why? Why me? Why these people? Why two difficult people in my life? Why so long? What am I doing wrong? What have I not learned yet?" Then, when I read His Word, I find "long suffering" and "patience" and then I am comforted.

But mercy was shown me in order that in me as the foremost of sinners Christ Jesus might display the fulness of His long-suffering patience as an example to encourage those who would afterwards be resting their faith on Him with a view to the Life of the Ages. 1 Timothy 1:16

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness...Galatians 5:22

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 1 Corinthians 13:4

Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near.  James 5:7-8

But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31
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I am determined to learn what God is teaching me through this.  Is it possible that one day, not a single person could ever annoy me, or get me wanting to get on my soapbox?  One day, will these two people and I have a beautiful, close relationship? One of freedom and truth?  Can we exchange distant waltzing with abounding joy and true love?  Or do some people enter our lives to help God do His work through us and then we part ways?  Maybe one day I will be able to tell you.  Who knows how long it will be.

photo by Amy Lucy

How to Propagate Roses

1.  Prepare a pot with 50% perlite and 50% soil/compost.
2. Find a bud that just finished; deadhead it, and then clip six inches below it.
   
3. Clip off all the leaves except for the top most pair.
4. Clip a diagonal at the bottom of the stem to get the biggest surface area of exposed stem.
5. Dip the stem in the rooting hormone powder.
6. Stick it in the pot and pack the dirt around the stem with your fingers.
7. Mist as often as possible if hot.  Direct sunlight is good; if not, plenty of sunlight.  Wait a couple weeks.